Sleeping Something
by Alex Glaven
Summary: Akiko A Sleeping Beauty parody. The only true role-reversal.
1. Chapter 1

Wow, look at that. I really am alive. Don't know for how long, though.  
  
Isaac: ::in orchid marker:: She's just trying to take a break from her own story, it's driving her insane.   
  
Yup, go figure. I work on it every day until I'm told that I HAVE to work on it, and then it's no longer fun. Ah well, this here is obviously a parody, but it wasn't really from the parody bug. This is just me being dumb. Special thinks to Dragon Empress for making me write this.  
  
Isaac: ::in banana smelling yellow and blue marker:: Akiko doesn't own anything. Deal with it.  
  
Sleeping Something  
  
By: Akiko Date  
  
Chapter 1  
  
Once upon a time in a land far, far away that actually never existed and all of this is pointless and boring, blah blah blah, there was this kingdom. And not just any kingdom, oh no! This was the Kindgom of Special Sparkly Rainbow Happiness. It was also a kingdom of evil. At least, it used to be. It's current ruler was trying to change that image, hence the name. Which wasn't actually doing that much, despite the glittery, rainbow style sign over the entrance. Maybe it was the dark forboding towers, the evil-looking gargoyles, the moat full of firey lava with a real salamander living in its depths, and the screams from the dungeons. Whatever.  
  
  
  
Moving on, the current ruler was just realizing that his wife was barren and was about to have her beheaded when she turned out to be perfectly healthy and bore him a beautiful baby boy. An evil baby boy. They named him Saturos.  
  
  
  
For his christening, they decided to invite three good fairies. Because that's what good kingdoms did when their babies were born. So in they came, one in red, one in green, and one in blue. Some people suspect that the blue fairy actually was evil, but it was never proven and everything turned out all right anyway. The red and green fairies looked pretty nervous to be at the christening of an evil baby in an evil kingdom attempting to go good, but the blue fairy just took it all in stride. Hence people thought he was evil.  
  
  
  
"Um…okay," the green fairy, a young-looking brown haired man, cleared his throat, holding up his wand. "I give you the power of a sound mind, so you may govern your people fairly."  
  
  
  
"Fairly according to WHO, Felix?" the red fairy, a shorter girl with cinnamon hair glared at him. He shrugged and grinned weakly. "Whatever. I give you the power of strength, so you may vanquish all of your enemies with a single blow and lots of fire! FIRE!"  
  
  
  
"Calm down, Jenna," the blue fairy told her.  
  
  
  
"Aww…Alex, you're no fun," Jenna pouted, but kept herself from burning him like she normally did. This was an important ceremony, after all.  
  
  
  
He sighed and rolled his eyes, lifting up his own wand. He was opening his mouth to announce whatever gift he intended for Saturos, when there was a burst of sickly-looking blue light. Yes, blue can look sickly. Don't ask me how. Back to the story, there was a young, blue haired girl dressed in white robes with evil black bat wings sprouting from her back and a pair of horns showing through her blue hair.   
  
  
  
"MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" she lifted one hand to her mouth and closed her eyes so she was in the proper maniacal, evil laugh pose. "MWAHAHAHAHAHA! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA-"  
  
  
  
"We get the point," the three fairies said in a bored tone. "Oh, right," the newly arrived obviously really evil fairy cleared her throat and brushed her hair a bit with her fingers.  
  
  
  
"It's Mia! The evil fairy of Doom!" the king, who is and will forever be nameless, yelled.   
  
  
  
"There's an evil fairy of doom?" the king from the next kingdom over (Happy Muffin Land, also an evil kingdom trying to change its image, mostly to gain tourists) who's daughter was betrothed to Saturos asked.  
  
  
  
"Doom, it's capitalized," the first king explained.  
  
  
  
"Oh, that makes sense," the ruler of Happy Muffin Land nodded, stroking his beard in a very wisdom-ish looking way.  
  
  
  
"Hell-o! Can we focus on me?!" Mia brushed more of her hair behind her shoulder. "Come my pet!"  
  
  
  
And from a portal of the same sickly blue light came a ragged-looking blonde boy with a large chain attached to a collar around his neck. He looked around and without warning started running towards the thrones.   
  
  
  
"Help me! HELP ME!" he screamed. Mia jerked his chain and he flew backwards into her evil clutches. "NOOOO!"  
  
  
  
"Don't be silly, Isaac!" she cooed. "I've brought you to play!"  
  
  
  
"LET ME GO!" he screamed, struggling. "LET ME GO! I BEG YOU!"  
  
  
  
She smacked him silly and then turned back to the king. "Why wasn't I invited, huh? I mean, for years you have a job going to evil kingdoms to help along evil babies in their future roles of ruling in fear and terror, and then suddenly your resident evil kingdom has changed it's name and is inviting stupid good fairies!" She turned to glare at the stupid good faeries and screamed. "ALEX! YOU LITTLE BACKSTABBER! I can't believe you turned good on me!"  
  
  
  
Oh yeah, that's the other reason people suspected that the blue fairy was evil.  
  
  
  
"Evil's out of style. You want work, you have to go good," Alex folded his arms.  
  
  
  
"Whatever," Mia shrugged her shoulders. "Anywho, like, I'm going to give baby Saturos a gift anyway before I head to the dessert line. Upon the kid's sixteenth birthday he shall prick his finger on a spindle needle thingy and die. Oooh! Chocolate cake!"  
  
  
  
And she was off, dragging her pet behind her. Her pet seemed to have gotten over being slapped around and began screaming again.  
  
  
  
"Well, that was different," Felix blinked.  
  
  
  
"Oh no! Not my evil baby boy!" the queen sobbed, very fakely. Like all evil queens, she secretly wanted there to be someway not involving her that her evil baby boy would die so she could rule the kingdom.  
  
  
  
"Isn't there something you can do?" the king asked, wanting anything but his wife ruling the kingdom.  
  
  
  
"Well, Alex hasn't given his gift!" Jenna pointed out brightly.  
  
  
  
"So much for making him good looking," Alex muttered. Jenna temporarily forgot time and place and burned him to a crisp. "Ow. All right, the prince won't die, but will be put into a deep sleep until the first kiss of true love that just happens to be given by his betrothed awakens him and…whatever."  
  
  
  
And it was good.  
  
  
  
Except for one problem, they had no idea what to do. After all, the king could just burn all of the spinning wheels in the kingdom, but that would put several people out of jobs and that just puts a blot right on the name of a once evil kingdom attempting to turn good. Let's just never mention again that he was severely tempted.   
  
  
  
"We could attack Mia outright, end of our problems," Jenna grinned.  
  
  
  
"You're nuts, Jen, Mia has enough minions to overtake this entire castle, let alone three little fairies," Alex pointed out. "And being evil gives you a lot more power. We're kind of on the weak end of the chain."   
  
  
  
"Like Isaac?" Felix pointed out. The fairies chuckled sadistically for a bit over this.   
  
  
  
"Moving on, what should we do?" Jenna asked.  
  
  
  
"Hm…I have an idea…" Felix looked thoughtful. "What if we do this…"  
  
****  
  
Hope you enjoyed that, more coming soon.  
  
Isaac: ::in rose-scented pink:: Review! ...Ugh, I'm never using this marker again... 


	2. Chapter 2

Yes, I know, I stomp on tradition. I don't care. I also know that there are no CD Players in Weyward or any other mideival world...but...this is the Kingdom of Special Sparkly Rainbow Happiness. I'm allowed to make exceptions.  
  
Isaac: ::in an unused marker "And she doesn't care. And I may not use your marker colors, because Akiko doesn't have internet access and therefore doesn't have all of the colors at her access"::  
  
Darn internet...ah well. At least I can e-mail people. And here's  
  
Chapter 2.  
  
Sleeping Something  
  
By: Akiko Date  
  
Chapter 2  
  
And thus the two good and one partially evil fairies decided to take the baby and raise him as their own. They lived in a woodcutter's cottage in a glen deep in the woods for sixteen long quiet years. Sixteen long quiet years of Saturos and Jenna burning the house down on several occasions, leaving Alex and Felx to build an entirely new house. This is where magic they weren't supposed to be using came in handy, otherwise the surrounding area would have looked like a clear-cut, not even remotely insconpsicuous.  
  
But it was nearing the day that Saturos would return to his kingdom to marry his betrothed and hopefully live a long, healthy life terrorizing the peasants. Oh, sure, the three fairies had tried to make Saturos see the ways of good, but with Jenna and Alex around he didn't learn very much. And you know what they say. Once those little snot-nosed punks try evil, they like it, and they're evil for all eternity. At least that's what they should say.  
  
Back on track, the three fairies found themselves feeling a little sad at the thought of Saturos's invetable departure, to their surprise. To their great surprise, and only a little. In the meantime, they thought they should see him off with a wonderful party for his sixteenth birthday. A wonderful surprise party. Which is a lot harder than it sounds, between you and me.  
  
"Saturos," Jenna said sweetly, smiling up at the blue-skinned prince. "Would you go hunting today?"  
  
"I went hunting yesterday," he replied, not even looking up from the book he was reading. He was leaning back in his chair, his feet up on the table.  
  
"GO HUNTING NOW OR REGRET THE DAY YOU WERE BORN!" Jenna yelled, pulling   
  
the chair out from under him. Saturos fell to the floor gracelessly. He  
  
got to his feet and glared at the offending fairy.   
  
"Fine, yeesh, I'll go hunting."  
  
He grabbed his bow and quiver and left, slamming the door behind him.  
  
"Oh, that was subtle," Alex muttered. Jenna proceeded to fry him to a crisp. "Ow."  
  
"Okay," Felix clapped his hands. "Let's get started. Jenna, you're on clean up duty, Alex, you're-"  
  
"I want to buy the gifts, put Alex on clean up duty," Jenna glared at him, her eyes flaring.  
  
Felix shook his head. "No, I'm buying him the gifts. Alex is going to bake the cake."  
  
"No, you're going to bake the cake, Alex is going to clean up the room, and I'm going to buy the gifts," Jenna folded her arms.  
  
Felix pulled a laptop out of his Mystical Space Pocket (tm). "Are you kidding me? I'm getting all of his gifts off of the internet, you wouldn't know how to use the internet if it did a strip tease on the front lawn." They both stared at him. "What? I don't know how to cook anyway."  
  
"Well, then, it's time you learned. I'm buying the gifts," Jenna grabbed the laptop from him, simultaneously casting fume on him. Crispy Felix muttered something under his breath and wandered into the kitchen. Alex shrugged and grabbed a broom to start sweeping up.  
  
Half an hour later Jenna walked into the kitchen, her eye twitching. Felix was putting two eggs, shells and all, into batter that was the same sickly blue as the portals Mia used. "Get the wands."  
  
"Okay," Felix washed his hands and walked into the living room, where his laptop was lying on the floor. In several pieces. He stared at it, eyes wide. "You...you broke my laptop."  
  
Jenna, who had been right behind him, sighed. "Get the wands, Felix."  
  
"You broke my laptop!" Felix fell to his knees, scooping one of the slightly melted pieces into his hands. "I can't believe you broke my laptop! It was a brand new Dell Latitude! It had wireless internet-"  
  
"Felix."  
  
"-DVD playing and CD burning capabilities-"  
  
"Felix," Jenna was sounding more and more impatient with each repeat of his name.  
  
"-Pirated copies of all three Lord of the Rings movies-"  
  
"FELIX."  
  
"-top of the line sound and video cards-"  
  
"FELIX!" Jenna cast fume on him again.  
  
"Ow!" he turned to her. "WHAT?!"  
  
"JUST GET THE FRICKIN' WANDS ALREADY!"  
  
"FINE!"  
  
"FINE!"  
  
Felix got to his feet, brushing some soot off of his clothing and stalked to an inconspicuosly blue brick in the red fireplace, pried it loose and pulled out their wands. He threw Jenna's, which was sparking an angry red, and handed Alex's to him in passing. Alex shrugged and pointed his wand at the mop and broom. The two cleaning tools began moving on their own like a bad reproduction of "The Wizard's Apprentice." Felix restored his laptop and put it back in his Mystical Space Pocket (tm) before he went into the kitchen and began making the cookbook order the assorted ingredients on the counter around.  
  
Jenna worked on the presents, making Saturos a wonderful sound system and a few CDs.  
  
"Ha, take that, internet," she muttered, putting the finishing touches on the present.  
  
****  
  
Oh, and just a side-note, since someone made this mistake ::mutters something about people doing this all the time:: I'm not Elena. Name's Akiko, pleased ta meetcha. Elena and I share an account because it's just easier that way.   
  
Isaac: ::in orchid "She gets a little tweaked when people mix them up"::  
  
I'm not tweaked. Well, you know what to do now, right?  
  
Isaac: ::waits until Akiko leaves the room, in parrot green "Are too.":: 


	3. Chapter 3

Yay. It's updated. You'd better appreciate this, Dragon Empress. Enjoy, everyone.  
  
Sleeping Something  
  
Chapter 3  
  
While his two uncles and one aunt were preparing the surprise party for him, Saturos was wandering through the woods. And he really was wandering. He was, in fact, lost. Extremely lost. When all of the stupid trees look the same and the undergrowth obscures most of the landmarks that could be used, anyone would get lost.  
  
Saturos, however, was one of the few people that became incredibly annoyed whenever he got himself lost. In a fine form that would have made Jenna extremely jealous, he began burning all of the stupid undergrowth surrounding him. A few minutes later it got out of hand, and the flames began spreading to parts that he didn't particularly want to set on fire. Like...the entire forest.   
  
Maybe Pyroclasm wasn't the best spell to use to clear out vegitation.  
  
Well, whatever.   
  
He was mostly fireproof, anyone who lived with Jenna for an extended period of time ussually ended up that way, but he wasn't THAT fireproof. So he ran for the nearest stream. At least, he hoped that there was a stream in that direction. He was nearly to what he figured must be a stream when the fire went out. Completely. Sure, the forest was now only so much smoke and ash, but at least he wouldn't burn to death.   
  
Moron, a delicate female voice rasped. He looked up to see a girl about his age with pink skin and long blonde hair sitting on a black horse with glowing red eyes. She was wearing simple leather armor and a skirt split for riding. Her shield was emblazoned with a muffin. The muffin kind of sucked, but he could tell by the rest of her outfit, her horse, and the fact that she was the same race as him that she was evil.   
  
It was love at first evil sight.  
  
So I lost my temper, so sue me, he muttered. She flipped her blonde hair contempuously over her shoulder. Nice trick, putting it all out like that.  
  
Of course, she said haughtily. What are you doing out here, anyway  
  
My aunt sent me to go hunting, he realized he had lost his bow to the fire. And didn't really care. What about you  
  
Aw...you live with your auntie she sneered.  
  
And my uncles, he admitted. Uncle Alex is cool. He's evil. And Aunt Jenna is a pyromaniac. Uncle Felix would suck if he didn't steal movies through the internet...  
  
What movies her tone became interested.   
  
Lord of the Rings.  
  
Oooh.  
  
They sat in appreciative silence for a moment.  
  
Well, I'd best be going, she nodded at him. Goodbye, random peasant boy.  
  
Um...see ya unfortunately living with his uncles and aunt had left Saturos rather clueless as to the ways of love.  
  
And little does he know, he just fell in love with Princess Menardi of Happy Muffin Land.  
  
That poor, poor soul.  
  
Well, he'll be pretty happy when he finds out he's engaged, right  
  
*  
  
Next chapter coming eventually. Probably the next time DE bugs me to update it. Whatever. 


	4. Chapter 4

Fast update for DE. DO NOT UNLEASH THE EVIL UPON THE WORLD! Enjoy.  
  
Sleeping Something  
  
By: Akiko  
  
Chapter 4  
  
Menardi rode her horse all the way back from the Kingdom of Special, Sparkly Rainbow Happiness to its neighbor, Happy Muffin Land, where her father ruled.  
  
She had to tell her little sister, Princess Karst, all about the cute peasant boy she had met. She left her horse to the groomers and stripped off the shield her father insisted she wore in these "dangerous times". Her father had become paranoid with old age. She ran up the stairs to the tower, where Karst lived. Her sister was going to be SO jealouse. "What do you want, Menardi?" the red-head shrieked when she stuck her head through the door Menardi had just burned to ashes.  
  
"I have to tell you, I met the cutest guy!" Menardi stepped calmly through the smoking entryway.   
  
"Nobility?"  
  
"Peasant," Menardi smiled evilly, and began to tell her sister all of the juicy details of her new "boyfriend".   
  
Karst was indeed very jealouse.  
  
*  
  
Meanwhile, Mia, the Evil Fairy Princess of Doom (she had added "Princess" to her title, it sounded so much cuter, and yet so much more evil) was becomming frustrated. She had been searching for Prince Saturos for nearly sixteen years now, and if he wasn't found by the next day, then her spell would be null and void, and if anyone found out that her spell had not had the desired effect, she'd be out of a job forever. So, really, it was nothing personal, just job security.  
  
And fun.  
  
And evil.  
  
"Garet!" she turned to the knight in black armor kneeling at the base of her dias. Her black, evil dias with the black, evil throne at the top. "Why have you failed to bring Saturos back here?"  
  
"I am sorry, m'lady," he replied. His legs had long ago lost feeling in them, but under the rule of Mia it was the least of his worries. "But he has proved most difficult to find-"  
  
"Silence!" she commanded him. "Go and search for him again. Ivan, go with him."  
  
Ivan was a second-class evil fairy she had picked up a few months ago for a bargain price on a slave train. He fluttered in with his batwings, a look of distate in his violet eyes when he saw Garet. Garet glared back at him, but he didn't seem to notice.   
  
"As you wish, m'lady," he stood, bowed, low while letting some of the feeling go back into his legs then walked off, glad that his flowing black and red cape hid the fact that he was stumbling. And that his evil black armor allowed him to move silently. Always a plus.  
  
"Stupid oaf," Ivan muttered, fluttering after him.  
  
"My pet," she cooed to Isaac, who was huddled in the corner. He jerked upwards as if tied by pupet strings. "Go after them, and remain silent."  
  
Fear filled Isaac's eyes, but under her spell was forced to follow the duo of hunters.  
  
****  
  
Hope you all enjoyed that! Now, the three of you who are reading this, please review! Oh, and sorry about the non-quotation mark problem of last chapter. Ff.net sucks. 


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